Congratulations on taking Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, and welcome to the family. With most families, there are guidelines to follow and responsibilities to take care of. That’s how it is with God’s family too and this book explains some of those guidelines and responsibilities.
Ever since the Garden of Eden, God has been giving us instructions on how we should live our lives. Prior to the coming of Jesus, God used individuals such as Moses and the prophets to give His will to the people. Then Jesus came and spoke directly to the people to tell them how they should live. His whole ministry was about how people should live their lives. And after Jesus we were given the Bible for instruction. In fact, the whole Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is a manual on how to conduct our lives.
If we were to really study our Bibles and dig deeply into everything God and Jesus told us we would know exactly how we should be living our lives. But let's face it; the Bible is a very long book and most of us don’t have the time, patience, or inclination to do all that.
So, how do we get the knowledge God wants us to have to know how to live our lives? One way is to read books! Books which are written by people who have taken the time to read and study the Bible.
After more than 25 years of attending church, watching people, reading, and studying, it seemed to me that a lot of Christians, especially those who are new, just don’t know how to act. They don’t know how to pray or study the Bible; be obedient to and have respect for God; tithe; or repent from sin. They also don’t know about living honestly and serving others; keeping their bodies as temples by not doing drugs or by not being sexually promiscuous; by not being involved in pornography or adultery; by not giving into abortion or divorce. Christians are told we should not conform to the world, but the world should conform to us. Yet research consistently shows that is not the case. Many Christians are no different from others in the way they conduct their lives.
While pondering all of this, God placed a desire on my heart to help people know what He expects of them. Thus “Live Live Your Life God’s Way” was conceived. In this short and hopefully easy to read book, written not just from studying the Bible but also from trying to live it, you'll find ways to live a life that's pleasing to God; ways to live a more fulfilling life; and ways to set ourselves apart as followers of Christ. You’ll also find ways to help Jesus know you and who you are.
21“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’” Matthew 7: 21-23 NLT
You knowing who Jesus is but living your life as you’ve always done isn’t enough; Jesus must know you. This book gives you ways to show Jesus who you are so that He will come to know you and welcome you into the Kingdom of Heaven.
To purchase the book in soft cover or Kindle, visit Amazon.com.
While purchasing the book would help our ministry, we realize not everyone can do that. So, in the interest of making sure everyone has a chance to benefit from it, we are including the entire manuscript below.
Live Your Life God’s Way
21 Ways To Live The Life God Wants You To Live
John Dallas McCarter
CONTENTS
4 DEDICATION
4 WORDS THAT GUIDE MY FAITH
5 INTRODUCTION
PART 1
OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH, AND OUR ATTITUDES TOWARDS, GOD AND JESUS
9 Love God and Jesus
11 Put God and Jesus First
13 Prayer
16 Study Your Bible
18 Repentance and Forgiveness
20 Give Them Praise
22 Give Them Thanks
24 Faith
26 Obedience
28 Find a Church That’s Right for You and Go!
30 Respect for God and His House
32 Volunteering and Service
34 Tithes and Offerings
PART 2
OUR PERSONAL LIVES AND OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS
38 Love, Relationships, and the Golden Rule
40 Forgiveness
43 Witnessing
45 Ministry to Others
47 Live Honestly
49 Your Body is a Temple
51 Sexual Immorality, Adultery and Abortion
55 Divorce
57 Conclusion
59 Living By The Spirit’s Power
61 About the Author
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. It was their idea and their words. Without their inspiration and direction, this book would not have been written.
WORDS THAT GUIDE MY FAITH
God knows everything and is in control of everything. Nothing happens that He does not allow to happen.
God always answers our prayers, but He doesn’t always answer them with “yes”. Sometimes He says “wait” and sometimes He just says “no”. When He doesn’t answer “yes” we often ask Him WHY! Instead we should ask Him WHAT. What does He want us to learn; what does He want us to change; what does He want us to do? When we realize that nothing happens that God does not allow to happen, our faith grows. When we ask WHAT instead of WHY, we get more answers from God and that grows our faith too.
INTRODUCTION
Congratulations on taking Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, and welcome to the family. With most families, there are guidelines to follow and responsibilities to take care of. That’s how it is with God’s family too and this book explains some of those guidelines and responsibilities.
Ever since the Garden of Eden, God has been giving us instructions on how we should live our lives. Prior to the coming of Jesus, God used individuals such as Moses and the prophets to give His will to the people. Then Jesus came and spoke directly to the people to tell them how they should live. His whole ministry was about how people should live their lives. And after Jesus we were given the Bible for instruction. In fact, the whole Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is a manual on how to conduct our lives.
If we were to really study our Bibles and dig deeply into everything God and Jesus told us we would know exactly how we should be living our lives. But let's face it; the Bible is a very long book and most of us don’t have the time, patience, or inclination to do all that.
So, how do we get the knowledge God wants us to have to know how to live our lives? One way is to read books! Books which are written by people who have taken the time to read and study the Bible.
After more than 25 years of attending church, watching people, reading, and studying, it seemed to me that a lot of Christians, especially those who are new, just don’t know how to act. They don’t know how to pray or study the Bible; be obedient to and have respect for God; tithe; or repent from sin. They also don’t know about living honestly and serving others; keeping their bodies as temples by not doing drugs or by not being sexually promiscuous; by not being involved in pornography or adultery; by not giving into abortion or divorce. Christians are told we should not conform to the world, but the world should conform to us. Yet research consistently shows that is not the case. Many Christians are no different from others in the way they conduct their lives.
While pondering all of this, God placed a desire on my heart to help people know what He expects of them. Thus “Live Live Your Life God’s Way” was conceived. In this short and hopefully easy to read book, written not just from studying the Bible but also from trying to live it, you'll find ways to live a life that's pleasing to God; ways to live a more fulfilling life; and ways to set ourselves apart as followers of Christ. You’ll also find ways to help Jesus know you and who you are.
“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’” Matthew 7: 21-23 NLT
You knowing who Jesus is but living your life as you’ve always done isn’t enough; Jesus must know you. This book gives you ways to show Jesus who you are so that He will come to know you and welcome you into the Kingdom of Heaven.
PART 1
OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH,
AND OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS, GOD AND JESUS
LOVE GOD AND JESUS
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
Mark 12:30, NIV
Jesus told us this was the most important commandment. We must also love Jesus in the same manner because He is the Son of God, our savior, and He died for us; all of us. Every Christian loves God and Jesus to some degree; some with our heads and some with our hearts. But some people love them with every fiber of their being, down in their souls, which is what God wants from every one of His children. The good news is if you’re not there yet, you can be. It’s just a matter of going through the process of maturing in your relationship with them.
If you’ve ever been deeply in love with another person, it’s the same kind of process. You spend time with them, get to know all about them and let them get to know you. Over time you become so close and develop such a deep relationship that you realize you’ve fallen madly in love with them.
It’s the same way in our relationship with God and Jesus, except they already love us. We need to spend time with them (pray) and get to know them (study your Bible). We’ll come to a point where we love God and Jesus with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. We’ll want to spend time with them, listen to them and do what they know is best for us.
PUT GOD AND JESUS FIRST
“You shall have no other gods before Me.” Exodus 20:30, NIV
Our God is a jealous god; He wants to be first in our hearts and lives. He should be! After all, He gave His son Jesus as a sacrifice for each and every person so we don’t have to suffer eternity in hell. Jesus willingly suffered and died for our sins so we don’t have to. He gave everything for us. Don’t they deserve to be number one in our lives?
Every day we face decisions, temptations, and choices. They’re part of life and sometimes it’s not very easy. But if we look at God and Jesus to put them first, and ask ourselves how God’s eternal kingdom will be impacted, our decisions, temptations and choices become easier to deal with. When we ask God what He wants us to do, what would be best for Him and His kingdom, we honor Him and He is pleased, and I truly believe He will bless us in our decisions and choices.
As Christians we should want our words and actions to please God, not the world. While it may hurt when people make fun of us because of our beliefs, we should be joyful because we’ve been faithful and have shown others that God and what He wants are first in our lives. We must always consider who we’re trying to please; other people, ourselves, or God.
PRAYER
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6, NLT
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He’s done. Prayer: it’s how we communicate with God. It’s how we tell Him about everything that’s going on in our lives; our needs and concerns, our successes and accomplishments, decisions to be made, everything. Sure, He already knows, but He wants to hear it from us.
Some people call (text, email, Facebook, X-Twitter) their friends and/or parents every day, several times a day, just to keep them up to date on what’s happening in their lives. We should do the same with God. That’s how we build a relationship with Him.
When is the best time? Anytime and all the time. For many people it’s first thing in the morning, before any distractions of the day can creep in. For others it’s just before going to sleep. It doesn’t matter when as long as you set aside a period of time every day.
How long? A church we attended in another city had a prayer chain and people prayed for an hour every day. Our spiritual growth during that time was great but not everyone can devote an hour to prayer. On the other end, 280 characters, the maximum length of a “tweet”, is not nearly enough. Find what works best for you and your schedule, but I would suggest at least fifteen minutes of uninterrupted time. For those who are so busy you can’t set aside even fifteen minutes, multitask. Pray while you’re in the shower, or while you’re driving; just don’t close your eyes.
That brings us to where; anywhere and everywhere. But more specifically, some place that’s quiet, where you won’t be disturbed or distracted works best.
Finally, what should we pray about? Basically, anything and everything. Advice from many years ago would be to “let it all hang out.” God knows it all anyway so you can’t hide anything or surprise Him.
What many people like to do is:
1. Praise Him, for who He is.
2. Thank Him, for what He’s done.
3. Ask for forgiveness, for what we’ve done, or haven’t done.
4. Talk with Him about whatever is on your heart. God knows our every need before we do but He has this crazy requirement that He won’t meet that need until we acknowledge to Him what that need is, and that we can’t meet that need without Him.
5. Be aware of what is going on around you. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will bring a person’s name into your mind for no apparent reason. Quite often that means God wants you to pray for that person. Pray for people you see during your day. You may be the only person that has ever prayed for them.
6. Listen to what He wants to tell you. God willspeak to you. Probably not in an audible voice, but more likely in that still, small voice we hear about. Ask Him questions and He will give you answers, you just need to listen. I’ve asked Him about situations and whether I should handle something this way or that way and He told me to do it a completely different way. And it worked! Ask, and then listen. Prayer is how we draw close to God and let Him draw close to us. Don’t neglect it; make it a priority and habit. Do it just because you love God and want to love Him even more.
STUDY YOUR BIBLE
All Scripture is given by God and is useful for teaching, for showing people what is wrong in their lives, for correcting faults, and for teaching how to live right.
2 Timothy 3:16, NCV
Since becoming a Christian thirty some years ago, I’ve read my Bible almost every day and have read through it from Genesis to Revelation many times. But until recently I never really studied the Bible. Sure, there were Bible studies on Sunday and in small group settings, but I had never sat down and studied God’s word on my own.
Wow! There’s a lot of good stuff in there. When you cross reference Scriptures; read commentaries in your Bible and from other sources; study Scripture based on who it was written to and why; and read it in the entire context, not just one or two verses, the Bible comes alive! You learn so many things that God wants you to know about Him, the history of His people and His church, how He wants you to live your life and so much more.
Here’s a homework assignment that will change your relationship with God and change your life:
1. If you don’t have one, find a book of Bible commentary, either in a bookstore or download a free one from the Internet.
2. Start somewhere in your Bible and choose a passage to read. For example, Matthew 25: 31-46. This passage is titled “The Sheep and the Goats.”
3. Ask God to open your eyes, mind, and heart to understand what Jesus was saying in this passage and what God wants you to know.
4. Read the entire passage; read all the references noted in the passage; read the commentary in your Bible; read another commentary; and perhaps read another translation with the accompanying references and commentaries.
5. Take as many days as you need to study and grasp the meaning of the passage.
Reading and studying your Bible in this way will draw you closer to God and will reveal things He wants you to know; both of which will change your life.
REPENTANCE AND FORGIVENESS
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV
Therefore, repent of the wickedness of yours and pray to the Lord that the intent of your heart may be forgiven you. Acts 8:22, CSB
It seems that repentance isn’t preached in our churches very much anymore. Our culture only wants to hear the Good News of salvation without hearing about the requirements that are involved. But without repentance there can be no forgiveness. And without forgiveness there will be no salvation.
Repentance is the changing of heart, mind, and attitude about our sin, which results in the change of action that turns us from that sin back to God. Repentance is not just telling God we’re sorry and then committing that sin again. True repentance requires a brokenness of our hearts because we have sinned against God, and submission to His will that we not commit that sin anymore.
When we have truly repented of our sin, we can then ask God to forgive us. And He will forgive. There is no sin so great that God won’t forgive, as long as we can honestly admit that we’re sorry and have repented. Our repentance and God’s forgiveness will bring such deep peace and overwhelming joy. We should delight in them because we then know He has showered us with His endless mercy and grace.
GIVE THEM PRAISE
For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; He is to be revered above all gods. Psalms 96:4, NRS
From the moment we awake and until our last thought before we go to sleep, we should strive to have an attitude of praise for our God. We should praise Him for who He is--the creator of the entire universe, the sun, moon, stars, our planet Earth, all of nature, you, me, and every living being. He knows everything we’ve ever done and everything we’ve ever thought, and still loves us anyway. He knows our every need, want and desire.
Our God is so great, wonderful, awesome, amazing; whatever adjectives you want to use to describe Him are insufficient. He is truly indescribable and sometimes words are just not enough. We can feel so inadequate when we want to give God praise so tell Him that. He understands. Just remember, the praise you do give Him needs to come from the heart and not just from the head. It’s an attitude of praise we should have, and we should have that attitude all day long.
Give Jesus praise also for He is the Son of God. He is our Lord, Savior, and the rock of our salvation; King of kings, Lord of lords and soon returning King. Jesus is the one who gave up His throne in Heaven to come to earth to tell us of God’s love and forgiveness. He is the person who suffered so horribly and was crucified on the cross for our sins. He is the One who was resurrected from the grave, overcoming sin and death, so that when we die, we can live with Him in Heaven. Give Jesus all praise and honor and glory. Hallelujah!
When you have that attitude of praise an amazing thing happens; your spirit will be lifted, and your heart will be filled with joy. Try it. It is virtually impossible to praise God from your heart and not feel happier. Praise God!
GIVE THEM THANKS
Let your roots grow down deep into Him and draw nourishment from Him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done. Colossians 2:7, NLT
What a beautiful thought, to let our lives overflow with thanksgiving. As with praise, our lives should have a consistent attitude of thanksgiving for what God and Jesus have done for us. I really believe that if we started the moment we woke up, we could thank God for all the things He’s done for us and we wouldn’t get them all in before we fell asleep that night.
God has blessed every human being in so many ways. Some have received more blessings than others, but we all have so much to be thankful for. For some, it’s because we’re still alive to see another day; for others it’s that we have all our body parts or that the ones we still have are working. For many it’s that we have jobs, a roof over our heads and food on our tables. It could be we’re thankful because we passed a test; for others it could be we have a school to go to each day. Some of us are thankful for the cars we drive; others are just thankful for somewhere to go and something to do. Still others are thankful they can get up and go outside. Many are thankful because they have enough money to do what they want; others are glad they were able to make the minimum payments on their bills.
God blesses us and does things for us every day. We need to open our eyes and ears, and most importantly our hearts, to all He’s done for us, and be thankful. Tell Him. When you catch a green light or get a close parking space, give Him thanks. When your alarm doesn’t go off, but you wake up on time anyway, give Him thanks. When that test for some physical ailment comes back negative, give Him thanks. When you’re reunited with a lost friend or relative, give Him thanks. In all things, big or small, give Him thanks. At all times, from morning to night, give Him thanks. In all ways, with your tongue or mind, give Him thanks. Let our lives overflow with thanksgiving.
FAITH
“And Jesus answered saying to them, have faith in God.” Mark 11:22, NAS
One of the hardest things God asks us to do is have faith in Him; faith that He knows what is best for us and then to give Him control of our lives. As humans, it’s just not in our makeup, but that’s exactly what God wants from us; total submission to Him and total dependence on Him. That takes a lot of faith!
Luckily for us God doesn’t require us to have that kind of faith from the moment we come to know Him and Jesus. We can build it up over time by trusting Him in some areas of our lives, finding Him to be faithful and trustworthy and then giving Him control over more of our lives. It’s a process of growth.
Reading and studying your Bible, and believing what was written, will help you build your faith. When you read about how God has worked in the lives of men and women in the Bible, and realize He can do the same for you, faith will grow. When you pray you must have faith that God hears and will answer your prayers. Keep a journal of your prayer requests. Write them down with the date and write down when God answers them. This will give you concrete evidence that God answers your prayers and will build your faith that He is trustworthy. When people give their testimony, listen to how God has worked in those lives. Read inspirational books to see how God has been faithful to other people.
I’m not saying it’s easy to have the kind of faith God wants for us, especially when we trust Him for something and we don’t see results right away, but I am saying we need to try. We need to have faith that He will help us build our faith.
OBEDIENCE
But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice? Obedience is far better than sacrifice. Listening to Him is much better than offering the fat of rams.” 1 Samuel 15:22, NLT
Fortunately for us, we don’t often have to choose between obedience to God and offering Him the fat of rams. But we do have to choose between obedience to Him and everything else. Many times in our lives God will ask us to do things that just do not make sense. These may be times when His only purpose is to see if we’re willing to be obedient to Him.
Several years ago, my wife and I were living a comfortable life in Florida. We were very involved in our church and had a successful business, but we felt God wanted us to move to South Carolina. So, we gave up everything and moved. That was obedience. But after two years we moved away to Ohio, because we wanted to, not because God told us to. That was disobedience. Four years later we felt God still wanted us in South Carolina, so we moved back. We were being obedient again. The result was this book.
During our time in South Carolina we questioned why God had uprooted us from our lives in Florida. It seemed to us there was no reason. Looking back, maybe the reason was just to see if we would give up everything to be obedient to God’s call, and He would let His plan for us become evident later on. Two years after we returned to South Carolina, God did start to reveal His plan, and this is it. I am so glad we listened and obeyed.
So, when God asks you to do something, even when it might not make sense, do it. Be obedient to Him and His call. You may not understand it and you may question God as to why. But if you obey Him and do His will, He’ll reveal His plan to you and will reward you with blessings.
FIND A CHURCH THAT’S RIGHT FOR YOU AND GO!
And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25, NKJV
One of the most important things you can do in your Christian walk is attend church services. It’s where we go each week to worship God, learn from His Word and grow in our relationship with God, Jesus, and other Christians. It’s a place where we can be lifted up, be a helper to others and become part of a community. It’s a place of refuge where we can feel safe.
But to experience all these things you actually need to go; you can’t get them at home in front of a sermon on TV. If you don’t have a church, find one. If you do have a church but you don’t go because it doesn’t fill your needs, find a different one. Try other churches or even try other denominations. Keep trying until you find the one that’s right for you and your family. Keep in mind three things while you’re looking:
1. The church must preach Jesus, preach the Bible, and preach the entire Bible, not just the happy parts.
2. No church is perfect; there will be some things you don’t like about any church. Maybe the music is more like a rock concert than it is worshipful. Maybe the congregation is too big or too small. Maybe the people are too young or too old. Look at the whole picture of the church and how it meets your needs.
3. The Holy Spirit that lives within all Christians will guide you to the church where He wants you to be. When you find the right one, you’ll know it in your heart.
Now, once you’ve found that church, you need to go. Every week seems to work best. Every time the doors are open may be too much for many people. If you can’t go one week for whatever reason don’t feel guilty, and don’t let others try to make you feel guilty. Things do come up. But we should certainly be there most of the time. Remember, when you start attending a church you become part of that community and family. So, when you aren’t there, you’re missed. When you aren’t there, you’ll miss the blessing you could have received for yourself and you’ll miss any opportunity to be a blessing to others.
RESPECT FOR GOD AND HIS HOUSE
You call him Father, when you pray to God, who judges all people by the standard, according to what each one has done; so then, spend the rest of your lives here on earth in reverence for him. 1 Peter 1:17, GNT
The church building each one of us attends on Sunday is God’s house. It’s where we go to meet Him, worship Him, praise Him, serve Him, and learn about Him. I know our culture has changed quite a bit to where it’s now more casual. It’s also changed in that it has become more “self” centered. But when we’re in God’s house, church, it’s not about us; it’s ALL about Him.
There are three areas of conduct in church that have really deteriorated: talking, cell phones and dress.
TALKING: All churches have lobbies. All churches are open for a time before the service starts. All churches are open for a time after the service ends. That’s the place and time to catch up with your friends; not during the service when you should be trying to catch up with God. Besides the fact it’s distracting to people around you, once the sermon has started, it’s disrespectful to whoever is speaking. Talking with your friends and getting to know new people are great. Just remember, people have gone to church to meet with God, not you.
CELL PHONES: They’re a blessing and a curse. Obviously, when you’re in church your phone should be on “silent” or “vibrate” or be off. Most of us have learned that by now. But what’s worse is the practice of texting, playing games and surfing the Internet on cell phones during the service. While the distraction to others may be minimal, how can we be attentive to what God may be trying to tell us when we’re texting a message or playing Sudoku?
DRESS: You’re not at your buddy’s house watching TV or playing video games; you’re in church. So, leave the shorts, tee-shirts, sandals, and baseball caps at home. Generally, the men come more casually dressed than the women, but there are exceptions. I’m not saying you need to wear a coat and tie, I don’t anymore; or wear a skirt, I never have; but dress like you’re going to meet the Person who controls your destiny, because you are.
For Christians, whenever we’re gathered together, God is in the midst of us. No matter how we come to Him, He will always love us. But let’s give Him the respect and attention He deserves.
VOLUNTEERING AND SERVICE
There are different ways of serving, but the same Lord is served. There are different abilities to perform service, but the same God gives ability to all for their particular service. 1 Corinthians 12: 5-6, GNT
Studies have shown that the volunteer work in the churches is done by about twenty percent of the people who attend. Does that mean the other eighty percent go to church each Sunday expecting to be served? I hope that’s not their attitude. No, it must be because they don’t know about all the opportunities there are to serve in their churches.
Look around when you go to church next Sunday. Everything that gets done is done by someone who is volunteering his or her time to help make the service run smoothly. There are greeters and ushers; nursery workers and Sunday school teachers; so many opportunities, and your church needs you. If those positions are filled now, you can be an assistant, or you can fill in so someone else can have a Sunday off. If you don’t know how, or feel inadequate, people will teach you and help you.
There are also areas of ministry outside the Sunday church service where you can, and should, get involved. Every church has ministries for its members and for those who don’t go to church. Check with your church’s office to find out what opportunities are available. If you see a need and your church doesn’t have a ministry to address it, talk with your pastor about starting one.
Volunteering, service, and ministry opportunities are everywhere and are available for everyone. Just open your eyes, look around, and get out of your pew. God calls us to be of service. Listen for where He’s calling you to serve.
TITHES AND OFFERINGS
“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”
Malachi 3:10, NIV
We’ve all read that passage many times and your pastor probably preaches about tithes and offerings every year. So why don’t more people do it? Why doesn’t every Christian do it? The principle of tithing has been proven to work. It works so well in fact that many people who don’t believe in God give to charities knowing they’ll be blessed. If the unbelievers know enough to give, why don’t Christians?
For those that aren’t familiar with tithing and offerings, here are some questions and answers.
1. What is tithing? It’s giving ten percent of your income to God. If you’re salaried, it’s ten percent before taxes are deducted. If you’re self-employed or commissioned, it’s ten percent after expenses, but before taxes.
2. Why does God want us to tithe? God owns everything and doesn’t need our money. But He wants us to show our faith and trust in Him that He will meet our needs.
3. Where do we tithe? We should give our tithe to the church we attend. Our church is where we go to connect with God and His people each week. It’s also the central point of distribution of help for the ministries it supports.
4. When do we tithe? Every time we get paid. It’s easier to tithe weekly or bi-weekly than to save it up to give once a month. It also may be too tempting for some to spend the tithe if it’s in the bank account.
5. What are offerings? They are everything we give over and above our tithes. Tithes come first and then offerings. Whatever we send to local charities, mission work or TV ministries should be considered offerings.
6. What if we truly can’t afford to tithe ten percent? God knows your heart. If you’ve set up a budget and giving ten percent to Him means there’s not enough left to pay for bills and necessities, I believe He’ll understand. But figure out what percentage of your income you can give Him and give that amount each pay day. As you are faithful, God will be faithful. As your ability increases, your tithe should increase as well. However, if the reason you can’t afford to tithe is because you’re buying lattes at your local coffee shop every day, have all the premium channels on cable TV and eat out every night at trendy restaurants, that’s a different story. Remember, God knows your heart, and He knows your finances too.
The giving of tithes and offerings is not an obligation so much as it is a privilege. It should be done with a “cheerful heart” knowing that when we give, we are blessed and will be blessed many times over. Those blessings may come in the form of increased finances, some type of favorable circumstances, or maybe just the satisfaction that we’ve helped others. Whatever the reward, when we give, we will be blessed.
PART 2
OUR PERSONAL LIVES AND OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS
LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, AND THE GOLDEN RULE
If we say we love God, but hate others, we are liars. For we cannot love God, whom we have not seen, if we do not love others, whom we have seen. 1 John 4:20, GNT
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Luke 6:31, NIV
Love. In Matthew 22:39 Jesus said the second greatest commandment was to love our neighbor as ourselves. Paul devoted a whole chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, to love. Love is mentioned more than 200 times in the New Testament. Don’t you think love for others, having and showing it, must be really important?
Of course, there are different kinds of love and I’m talking about the kind of love we have for our friends. It’s the kind of love where we care about them, want what’s best for them and help them in time of need. We listen to them, respect them, don’t judge them, and give of ourselves for them. We just need to take that same love, caring and concern, and extend them to everyone else that we know or meet.
That’s hard to do I know, especially in today’s culture where there is so much competition and self-centeredness. But it’s what Jesus wants us to do and the rewards are so great! When we treat others with love and respect, our relationships grow and strengthen; people feel better about themselves because someone cares about them; and we feel better about ourselves because we have given to others.
The Golden Rule, do unto others… has become so misunderstood. It’s a positive, action-oriented command that has somehow been turned into a negative and passive statement. It’s been changed into “Don’t do something to someone else unless you want them to do the same bad thing to you.” But that’s not the meaning at all. Do unto others. Love others. Be kind and caring. Be concerned and giving. Do things for other people that you would like them to do for you. Treat other people the way you would like them to treat you.
Jesus’ command was to love others. If we truly love Him, we will strive to extend that love to other people.
FORGIVENESS
Then Peter came to Him and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22 NIV
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
There are two kinds of forgiveness: forgiving others when they have hurt us and asking for forgiveness when we have hurt others. Neither is easy, but both are required by God.
FORGIVE OTHERS: Jesus puts it right out there; if we don’t forgive others God won’t forgive us. “But it’s hard, and I’m still hurt and angry,” you say. Tell God how you feel, and He’ll help you get over the hurt and anger. Telling the person who wronged you that you forgive them will also help get past the hurt and anger.
Forgiveness can restore the relationship. Sometimes the person who hurt you may not even know it, so telling them how you feel will give them the opportunity to apologize. But sometimes the person who hurt you may still feel they did nothing wrong and doesn't need your forgiveness. While this is not the best thing, at least you’ve done your part by forgiving them. You can be released from the consequences of not forgiving.
When you don’t forgive and hold a grudge against someone, you are the person who is most negatively affected. Unforgiveness, with the accompanying hurt and anger, leads to bitterness which can impact your whole life. The only person you’re hurting when you don’t forgive is yourself. The other person most likely doesn’t even know what you’re going through.
Unforgiveness will come between you and God. It will hinder your prayer life and keep you from receiving all the blessings God has for you. You must forgive others in order to experience the fullness of your relationship with God and receive His forgiveness when you fail Him.
ASK FOR FORGIVENESS: When you have said or done something that hurts someone else, nothing can heal that relationship more quickly than when you sincerelysay you’re sorry and ask for forgiveness. Nothing does as much to break down walls and build up relationships like a heartfelt apology and a request to be forgiven. Yes, it can be hard to admit you were wrong. It’s embarrassing, and it hurts your pride and ego. But taking the initiative to ask someone to forgive you is the best way to clear the air and save that relationship.
That line from a movie that says “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is wrong. Love means saying you’re sorry every time you cause someone to hurt or suffer.
Forgiving and asking for forgiveness are two sides of the same coin. They both bring healing and restoration. They both bring us closer to what God wants for each of us.
WITNESSING
He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to all creation.”
Mark 16:15, NIV
For some reason, telling other people about Jesus is one of the hardest things for a Christian to do. I’ve heard that only about twenty percent of people who profess to be Christians have ever witnessed to someone else.
I know witnessing has been difficult for me. Being the analytical type it’s easy for me to over-analyze situations, trying to determine what to say, when to say it and how to say it. Being a guy, I’m also pretty much results oriented as opposed to having a relationship orientation. That doesn’t seem like a good combination when trying to witness for Christ, but it does make for an excuse.
When out somewhere the conversation in my head might go, “How about witnessing to that person? No, he just got here so I better wait. How about that one? No, he’s busy reading the newspaper so I don’t want to interrupt.” When you’re not comfortable doing something, any excuse not to seems like a good one.
But God has a better idea. Through the Holy Spirit, He’ll orchestrate the whole situation as to where we should go, who we should talk with and what we should say. Isn’t that great! He takes care of everything. All we must do is be open to His leading and direction and then be obedient.
For example, if God tells you to go to Dairy Queen for a cone (He’s a very good God.) and there’s only one other customer in the store, maybe that’s a clue that God’s arranged for no one else to be there because that person needs prayer and God wants you to talk with him. If God brings someone across your path that you can help in some way, maybe that’s an opportunity to start a conversation that can lead to witnessing.
The thing to remember is this: Be open to what God is putting on your heart. Be aware of what He’s doing and don’t try to manufacture a “witnessing event”. We need to be more interested in taking time for other people and less concerned about how they will respond. After all, God may have put them in our path for a reason: to pray for them, to witness to them or both.
God will put all of us in certain places and situations for His purpose: to plant a seed; to provide water and sunshine for a seed that’s already been planted; or to celebrate with someone who’s ready for the harvest.
MINISTRY TO OTHERS
All they asked was that we remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do. Galatians 2:10, NIV
He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses. Proverbs 28:27, NIV
There are millions of people on this planet who are poor and don’t have food, clothing, or shelter. There are millions more who can just make it through each day but it’s a real struggle. There are so many people who need help that for those of us who don’t, or at least don’t need much, the challenge can seem overwhelming. But we can’t let that keep us from getting involved. Just because we can’t help everyone doesn’t mean we can’t help someone.
Even as there are so many people who need help there are so many ways we can help. When we go to the grocery store, we can buy a little extra food and take it to our church to distribute or give it to a shelter that serves food. When we have old clothes, we can donate them to shelters or other organizations. We can give our time to volunteer at different ministries; they all could use more help. If you see a need that’s not being met, start your own ministry. There’s a young teenager in our community who saw a need for more food for the homeless, hungry and others. She started a garden and now her project has grown to where there are kids across the country planting gardens to grow food for the needy.
The poor and needy are everywhere; we just need to open our eyes and hearts. We’ll see opportunities everywhere we look, and everywhere we look we can be of help to the less fortunate.
LIVE HONESTLY
You shall not steal. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
Exodus 20: 15-16, NIV
Live honestly. Do not lie, steal, or cheat. Period. That should be all that needs to be written on this subject. Unfortunately, we’re humans and it seems many of us look for ways to justify breaking those commandments.
LYING: We call it a white lie or say it’s just a little lie or we say we don’t want to hurt someone with the truth. But the fact remains, when we don’t tell the truth, even if we don’t say anything, we’re lying. I’m guilty of this; we all are to some degree. It’s caused by our sinful nature. But we need to be aware of when we’ve lied; then repent and ask for forgiveness. And we must make sure that lying doesn’t become a habit.
STEALING: While most of us don’t steal in a way that would put us in jail, many of us do steal in much smaller ways. When we take home a few paper clips from the office, we’re stealing. When we take an extra fifteen minutes for lunch, we’re stealing time from our employer. When we don’t give our tithes to our churches, we’re stealing from God. Anything we take or keep that doesn’t belong to us, is stealing. Even if we feel our actions are justified for some reason, it’s still stealing.
CHEATING: This is a combination of lying and stealing. When people cheat in business, they’re lying about what they do and are stealing from others by not giving them what they earned or deserved. When people cheat on their taxes, they’re lying to and stealing from the government.
Lying, stealing, and cheating; they can all start off very small and in seemingly insignificant ways. But when we continue doing them, and we don’t repent and change our habits, they can easily take over our lives.
YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE
Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit.
Ephesians 5:18, NCV
Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves. 1 Corinthians 6:19, GNT
Our bodies are a temple and it belong to God. Therefore, we shouldn’t do anything that tears down and destroys our bodies. Some studies show that in moderation, wine and alcohol can be somewhat beneficial. But when taken in excess they will wreak havoc on our systems. Illegal drugs in any amount, besides being illegal, are harmful to our minds and bodies. We shouldn’t do anything which destroys the temple God gave each one of us.
But beside the damage drugs and alcohol can do to our physical bodies, our spiritual selves are also harmed. When we drink alcohol or take drugs to escape, unwind, give us courage, loosen us up, make us happy or for any other reason, what does that tell us about our relationship with God? He should be our source of strength, peace, and joy. When we drink or take drugs, we’re saying we can do a better job than God and we don’t need Him.
When I say “we” here, I do mean we. I’ve had more times than I can believe where I drank way too much; for all the reasons noted above. But the supposed benefits of the alcohol cannot even come close to the joy, peace, and strength I found in Jesus.
When you truly know Jesus as your Lord and Savior you won’t need drugs or alcohol. You’ll only need Him.
SEXUAL IMMORALITY, ADULTERY AND ABORTION
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4, NIV
You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14, NIV
Thou shalt not kill. Exodus 20:13, KJV
SEXUAL IMMORALITY: First of all, let’s define it. Sexual morality is sex between a man and a woman who are married to each other. Everything else is sexual immorality. According to the Bible, sex before marriage, sex with someone other than your spouse, prostitution and homosexuality are all sexually immoral. However, what I believe God wants to stress here is the sin of pornography because it’s becoming almost epidemic.
While statistics vary based on how questions are asked and who is asked, they all show pornography is a serious and rapidly growing problem, even
among people who profess to be Christians. Some of these statistics show that more than fifty percent of Christian men visit porn sites every week and nearly thirty five percent of Christian women admit to accessing pornography. Another poll shows nearly fifty percent of Christian families admit pornography is a problem in their home.
Proponents of pornography claim it’s a victimless crime. I believe there are at least two victims: the person who watches or reads it and his or her spouse. The person who is involved with pornography is a victim because it warps expectations of intimacy with their spouse. As for the second victim, the spouse, those expectations of intimacy are ruined for them as well.
ADULTERY: Like pornography, adultery is a sin someone consciously chooses to commit. Studies show that in nearly twenty five percent of Christian marriages at least one spouse has had an adulterous relationship. The Bible could not be any clearer where it states in Exodus “You shall not commit adultery.”
When you get down to it, adultery shows a lack of trust in God. Here’s why. People commit adultery because a need is not being met by their spouse. No one’s spouse is perfect so there will always be some unmet needs in marriage. On the other hand, God has said that He will supply all our needs. We need to trust Him that He will do what He says.
When there is something lacking in your marriage relationship don’t go running to some other person. Talk with your spouse to let him or her know there’s a problem and talk with God to tell Him you need His help. Trust Him and He will lead you out of that temptation.
ABORTION: Being a man, I cannot begin to understand what thoughts, fears and concerns a woman has when she finds out she’s pregnant. All I can tell you for sure is what God says in His Word, “Thou shalt not kill.”
When abortion first became legal, we didn’t have the science and technology we have today. We didn’t know when life started. If we had known, perhaps abortions wouldn’t have been legalized. But today, the belief that life starts at conception has been almost proven as doctors can detect a baby’s heartbeat at only twenty-one days. Maybe in the next few years science will be able to prove that life does start at the very point of conception. But until then, every woman must deal with her own situation and her own beliefs.
Studies have shown that as many as one in six women who have had an abortion professes to be an evangelical Christian. How can that be? Maybe none of them were Christians at the time they had their abortions and found the saving grace of Jesus afterwards. Certainly, there have been many studies documenting the guilt and depression many women experience after having an abortion, which could have led them to salvation afterwards. But more likely they were Christian women who didn’t see any other way.
If you’ve had an abortion, God knows what you were going through, and He knows your heart. He loves you so much and if you ask, He will forgive you. If you’re struggling with whether to have an abortion, please get counseling first. Talk with your pastor and other Christian women. Talk to the counselors at a Christian pregnancy center. Talk with God.
DIVORCE
Now I give this command for the married people. (This command is not from me; it is from the Lord.) A wife should not leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must not marry again, or she should make up with her husband. Also, the husband should not divorce his wife. For all others I say this. (I am saying this, not the Lord.) If a Christian man has a wife who is not a believer, and she is happy to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer, and he is happy to live with her, she must not divorce him. 1 Corinthians 7:10-13, NCV
Good news! The divorce rate among Christians is not as high as we’ve been led to believe. Bad News! The divorce rate among Christians is still higher than God wants. Studies show that forty two percent of Christian marriages end in divorce. Why do so many couples “fall out of love” and then get divorced?
When we’re courting, we choose to only see the good in our prospective spouses, and if there are any flaws, we figure we can change them. After being married for a while we find we can’t change those flaws and we may even see new ones. (But we do a lot of things to irritate our spouses too. It goes both ways.) The problem is we no longer choose to overlook those flaws any more. In many cases we seem to focus on the bad things and forget about the good things that made us fall in love with our spouses in the first place. That’s what leads to the falling out of love and can eventually lead to divorce.
While falling in love may not be something we choose to do, staying in love is definitely something we can choose to do. We must once again choose to concentrate on the good and overlook the not so good in our spouses. We must commit to God that we will make our marriages work by looking for reasons to love our spouses, not for reasons to leave them. We must commit to our spouses that we will never let the little things that cause friction turn into big things that cause divorce. We must choose to continue to love.
CONCLUSION
God created us, and Jesus died for us. They deserve praise and thanksgiving; honor and glory; love, worship, and adoration. We must put them first in our lives, love them with all our being, talk with them in prayer, study about them in our Bibles and trust them with our lives by giving them our faith and obedience. Also, we should go to church, show respect while we’re there, volunteer and get involved, give our tithes and offerings, give of ourselves and not just take from the church service.
Our love for Jesus should be so strong that it spills over into love for others. We should show the same love to other people that we want to be shown to us and treat them the same way we want to be treated. Since we’ve experienced God’s love for us and His forgiveness, we need to tell others so they can experience them too. We also need to extend our forgiveness to those who have hurt us and ask for forgiveness from those we have hurt. People are hurting and need help. Jesus tells us that if we help others, we’re helping Him too. He also says that if we turn our backs on the needy, we’re turning our backs on Him as well. We must live honestly; even small sins are still sins. Our bodies truly are temples and we should not do anything to them that is harmful. Sexual immorality, adultery, and abortion; God really hates them and when we commit those acts, we show our lack of faith and trust in God to meet our needs. Divorce is way too common. As Christians we should choose to always love our husbands or wives, overlook the things that irritate us, and concentrate on what caused us to fall in love in the first place.
Doing all these things isn’t easy. I fail every day in at least one area. Everybody does. But the good news is that failure here won’t keep us out of Heaven. The bad news is that success in doing all these things won’t get us into Heaven unless we do them for the right reasons. We must do them because we love God and love Jesus and because we trust and have faith in them.
We must also repent. If someone has been involved in a sinful lifestyle or has sinned against God in some way, they must stop, repent, and ask for God’s forgiveness. When repentance is genuine, God will forgive. If God could forgive the people who tortured and killed His Son, He can certainly forgive any sins we’ve committed. He’s just waiting for us to ask.
We cannot just say a few words at an altar, continue to live our same sinful lifestyles and expect to spend eternity in Heaven. When we truly accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we become a new creation. We don’t do the same things we did before. We don’t just live for ourselves anymore; we live for God and Jesus.
Living our lives in the ways shown here is a natural outflow of wanting to please God, do his will and live for Him. We should do all these things with a willing heart because of our love for God and for Jesus. God is our creator and heavenly Father; Jesus is our Lord and Savior. They deserve nothing less than all we are and all we have, all the time. Following what God wants and expects draws us closer to Him, our father and to Jesus, our brother. And as a side benefit, it will also draw us closer to all other people.
Finally, if you really want to draw closer to God and Jesus and live the life they want you to live, follow the teaching of Paul in Galations 5:16-26 NLT.
Living by the Spirit’s Power
16So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. 19When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 22But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.
AMEN!
Welcome to God’s family.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
“I had gone to a church service with some friends and when one of them went forward at the alter call, I did too. I repeated a sinner’s prayer, hugged my friend, and went home. For six months I never opened a Bible, never went to church, and didn’t even pray. I didn’t do the things I should have been doing and continued to do lots of things I shouldn’t have been doing. But I thought I was “saved”. I am so thankful my life didn’t end during that time.”
Now, for more than twenty-five years, John Dallas McCarter has served Jesus Christ in churches; in small groups both as a member and leader; in various local and national ministries; and as a church deacon/trustee. With “Live Your Life God’s Way” John is following God’s call to tell Christians throughout the world that salvation and Heaven take more than just repeating a few words at an altar and going to church; it takes a change of heart and it takes becoming a new creation. It takes living your life in a way that lets Jesus know who you are.
Living our lives in the ways shown in this book is a natural outflow of wanting to please God, do his will and live for Him. We should do all these things with a willing heart because of our love for God and Jesus. God is our creator and heavenly Father; Jesus is our Lord and Savior. They deserve nothing less than all we are and all we have, all the time.